Transcendent Love
by ChronoAzreil
Summary: This is my own version of the chaosYeshua and KosMosMaria story. Kinda fluffy. Maybe oneshot, not really sure yet. It might contain spoilers for some, so beware! Chapter 3 now up
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Xenosaga.

Author's note: This is just my own version of the story between chaos and Kos-Mos, one of my favorite pairings. R and R please!

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The temperature was already scorching. It was early in the morning, so the sun had not climbed to its highest just yet. The flat, broken land of the desert was mostly undisturbed, but not today. Two lone riders on tan horses raced through the desert, kicking up lose rocks and dirt. One rider was further ahead then the other, seemingly the better horsemen of the two.

Both rider and horse sought the sight ahead of them. The small patch of green could be seen for miles; an oasis. The rider that was ahead, raced though the long grass, past the palm trees at the edge of the oasis, stopping at the large pool at the center of the paradise. The horse early drank its fill from the crystal clear water, remembering the taste. The rider and horse had been there before many times, and knew the place like the back of their hands.

The second rider followed the first, dropping on the ground as the horse rushed on. It had no intention of stopping, but galloped into the pool. That brought laughs from both riders, but they were strained. Neither spoke as they removed the hoods that protected them from the sun, and sat down by the pool.

Underneath the hoods was a man and women. No, a boy and girl. They did not have the "grown up" looks that most adults have, but they were not children either. The girl had long, long black hair and piercing blue eyes. Her simple purple dress was neat, with almost no adornments. The boy was green eyed, with short silver hair, wearing tan working robes, also with no adornment. Both dress and robes showed signs of slight age. By just looking at them, one could assume that neither was from the rich class.

The boy looked at the girl with both worry and confusion on his face. His eyes studied his long time friend, wondering what was wrong. She had invited him on the ride to the oasis, confidant that no one would be here this early. She had not said a word the entire time. He understood that there was something bothering her, but waited for her to revel what was wrong. Her sapphire orbs just stared at the water, never meeting his eyes.

She could take as much time as she needed, for they were due back tomorrow anyway. Also, if he pushed her, she got violent. The boy let himself fall back into the high grass, looking up into the sky. The area they were in was shaded by dozens of palm leaves, and only a few specks of sunlight could be seen. He loved this paradise, one that only he and she shared.

"Do you remember when Father became a soldier?"

How could he forget? It had been almost five years since her father had joined the Roman army, leaving his family behind. The boy simply nodded. "Do you remember his promise? Again he nodded. "When I can come back, I will make sure our lives are better. This I promise." A man of his word, every chance he got he wrote letters and sent what little money he could earn.

"Father has written another letter. Remember the drawing of Eve and I that we sent to him? He was stationed here and we were able to find out where he was, and we sent him all kinds of things. Well… he showed his general the picture. And… the general has made it clear that if he will give his daughters hand in marriage to his son, he will give Father Money! At first everyone was happy… because they thought that it was Eve that he was talking about. But it's me…. Yeshua, I don't want to marry a Roman! I don't want to marry anyone!"

He was not surprised to see her crying. The tears rolled off her tan cheeks, making no sound as they hit her dress. Yeshua's heart screamed for him to gather her close and never let go, but he hesitated. They were both turning 18 this year, past the normal age when people married. He had long come to terms with how he felt about Maria; for he loved her. If she was to marry another he had no right to touch her.

His heart broke at thought that he could never tell her his feelings, but she looked so lost that he reacted without truly thinking. He crawled the few feet between them, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist, just like when they were little kids. Maria let herself be turned and pulled into the hug, throwing her arms around his neck. That made her cry even harder, for her childhood friend comforting her made it all the more painful and real.

Later that night:

"When mother read the letter out loud I was happy, thinking it was Eve. Getting married would be something good for her. But then she read my name and… The little ones were happy of course, but Eve and I really didn't know what to say."

At least Maria wasn't crying anymore. She was calm as she spoke, adding more twigs to the fire. Everyone growing up in the desert knew that it was full of extremities, broiling in the day, freezing at night. Yeshua and Maria had built a small fire near the pool, making sure the horses were near by. There was no reason to go back, neither were in to big of a hurry. They sat in the grass, wrapped in blankets, Maria's back to the pool while Yeshua reclined against a nearby palm.

"Mother thinks that marriage would be good for me. Father wrote that the son of the general is 19, strong and handsome. No mention of this personality though. He was probably told to write that, because most Romans think they are anyway." The fire reflected the fierce look in Maria's eyes, bringing a smile to Yeshua's lips and eyes. He had let her cry on his shoulder for more then an hour, before she became embarrassed and annoyed with herself.

He had wanted to weep with her, but did not let his emotions and his personal agony overwhelm both of them. Maria needed Yeshua to be strong, and so he would be. "You are my dearest friend Yeshua. What do you think about the whole situation?" She made it sound as if she was picking the fruit for the evening meal. Both knew that marriage was one of the biggest decisions of a young person's life, and the one you married was just as important.

If they had been more experienced, they would have realized that they were trying to hid what they really felt from each other, and were not doing a very good job of it."Maria, that is for you, your mother, and your father to decide. It would not be proper for me to speak my opinion."

"Please, tell me. I already know what Mother and Father will say."

"Can you think of another you would rather share your life with? Anyone that you see as a permanent love? Could you learn to love the Roman?" Yeshua cursed himself. Why ask such a thing? Just let it be, that's all he had to do.

"Yes, Yes and no." For a minute, Maria thought about lying. It would have made things easier, but she could not lie to Yeshua. There was honest surprise in his eyes, making her wonder if her decision to be honest was the wrong one. It did not take Maria long to come to terms to her feelings for Yeshua and obviously he did not see it. Either he was clueless or was being polite in light of the situation.

"Who do you love, Maria?" He should not have asked. But he did.

"I… I…" Frustrated at her own inability to express her feelings, Maria gathered the blanket around her, standing up. She walked to the pool, tipping her face to the sky. The millions of stars spiraled around the moon, bigger tonight then Maria had ever seen it. Yeshua had followed her, and although he was not a pushy person, he wanted to know. "Maria?"

"I… I…." Why couldn't she just say it? They stood there for a long time, he watching her back as she watched the stars. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want." That was the problem. She wanted to tell him. She was just… shy. All of a sudden, Maria was shy around Yeshua. Never would she have thought it would be so. She turned, looking very confused. Yeshua mistook her confusion, thinking it was time for him to back off. "I will back off, don't worry Maria. I will just have to ask Eve." He turned to leave.

Her left hand caught his. She rapidly shook her head, black mane flying. Still not understanding what had gotten into his friend, Yeshua gently placed his other hand on her right shoulder, eyes puzzled. "I… I…" This was just too hard. One, there were already enough complications without her confession. Two, what if he didn't feel the same way about her? Did the first one matter? Her mind screamed against her actions, but her heart told her that this was the right thing to do.

"I love Yeshua. I love you."

At first, it did not seem as if he heard her. Maria took one step closer, looking into his green eyes. Maybe it was that she was so caught up in the moment that she didn't react. Or maybe at first she didn't know _how_ to react.

His lips pressed against hers, feather light. Many women told Maria that the first kiss never lasted long. One or two seconds was the maximum. To Maria, Yeshua's kiss lasted an eternity. He pulled back, long enough to whisper into her ear, "And I love Maria. Always have, always will." Neither Yeshua nor Maria though about the repercussions of their actions. Neither cared about the future, only the here and now.

At the least the tan horses had enough dignity not to watch as the boy and girl began their second kiss. No. As the man and the women began their second kiss.

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What did everyone think? I don't know if this will remain a oneshot or not, I might continue it, depending on the Reviews that I get.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Xenosaga

Author's note: Some things are very inaccurate. A lot of things, such as the meaning of some of the names, the fact that Maria and Yeshua can read… which if you know Hebrew History, you know that most Hebrews were not educated enough and I combined/added a few characters that probably didn't exist to begin with, but the base characters are all the same. Enjoy!

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The village was not "big" but not "small" either. It was placed ten miles from a town that was along a major trading route that the Romans used, so there was always interesting goods to be found. The men were like most, they farmed, herded, did the odd jobs. The women kept the children in line, cooked, cleaned, told stories to one another. The only blemish to the village; it had a Roman "governor." His name was Phillaicus, a plump man who had been given the title of Governor and sent to the "godforsaken land" for starting a fight with the official Roman governor. It was his punishment.

The design of the town was nothing special: All the housed and markets were built along the main road, making a full circle off the right of the road around the well. That was just the "inside". The "outside" was a place of scattered farms, placed closer to the green mountains to the west, with plenty of streams and foliage to feed the flocks. This is the place where people were born, where they lived, and where they died. The village was neither big nor small, and although not as wealthy as others, it was a tight-nit community.

It was near the center of the village where the sign had been posted by the "governor." Many of the villagers could not read Latin, the language of the Romans, so Yeshua and Maria were sent for. Maria's father, who was disliked for his loyalty for the invader country, taught both Yeshua and Maria the language and how to read and write.

Both arrived looking very puzzled, being pulled by a mob of village children. As always, Yeshua was calm and collected, Maria was smiling and allowing the children to pull her without a fight. Both were met with the sight of many village men, women and children of all ages gathered around the small sign, nailed to the well. Isaac, a well respected man, requested they read the sign. "Maria, Yeshua, what does this read? That man posted it." Maria swept her hand towards the sign, indicating Yeshua should read it.

Not one to argue, Yeshua stood close to the sign, reading it silently before reading it out loud. The crowd formed a path from Yeshua to the sign. The surprise on his face was evident, so much so that he turned to Maria. "I am… reading this correctly?" Maria smiled, not sure what was wrong, but joined Yeshua close to the sign. Her face, instead of looking surprised like Yeshua, became confused and then angry. "He… can't do this!"

"What is it," Isaac demanded. "Phillaicus has… ordered that everyone in the village is to… choose a Roman or Greek name more fitting to the… empire. We sully the good name of the Empire with our… names." Yeshua took great care in choosing his words, for there were bound to be repercussions if he read what it _really_ said. He watched as the happy light in the eyes of the women, how tall the men stood, all diminish. The proud light of the village was replaced by anger, hatred, and loathing. Maria watched it to, forgetting her own anger.

"We will confront Phillaicus, now!" The cheers echoed against the stone walls of the houses, louder then normal. The mob moved towards the governor's house, as one body, parents dragging children. The only ones left near the well were Yeshua, Maria and some of the elders of the village. The elders shook their heads sadly, murmuring "nothing good will come of this…" Yeshua and Maria just stared after the mob.

Of course Phillaicus did not relent. But neither did the villagers. The struggle began in front of Phillaicus's sad excuse for a Roman Villa, and ended there too. The Roman stood in front of his villa, not backing down in the least. The villagers were not organized, and it became a shouting match, each man or women trying to get their opinions out all at once. It was a sad sight to see the least, especially when Phillaicus's guards, two huge Roman's with swords, joined him on his porch. None of the villagers were fighters and fell back almost immediately.

Phillaicus did not like having his orders questioned, so he made this "decree," the villagers were given until sunset the next day to choose their new names, and if they didn't, then they would be punished.

"I don't think that's very fair." She was taking this a lot better then he thought she would, Yeshua noted. It was sunset, almost dark. They should have been getting ready for bed, but neither felt like sleeping. "Nothing is fair when Phillaicus is involved. What name have you picked out, Maria?" He watched as she began to pace. "Be careful, you might fall off…"

Which was very true. The only place where no one went was the roof of Yeshua's house. He and Maria had taken her father's makeshift ladder, using it to climb onto his roof. It was a small one, for his house was only three rooms, and there was barely enough room for a person to lie down. Maria did not stop pacing, but only shortened her stride. "I am Maria… he cannot take my name away from me! I was named after my grandmother, who died a few years before I was born, and… and…"

"Maria, I understand. You have told me this many times before because you are proud of your name, which everyone has a right to. But look what happened, everyone fought Phillaicus and we have no time to even think of names. Everyone will have the same name after this!" Maria stared at her long time friend. He was more then that now, but she could not think about that now. He sat there, legs crossed, arms on either side, looking up at her. "You are calm about this! Why?"

"I do not want to lose my name Maria, but I will not fight what will be. It's a waste of breathe." He was right, and Maria didn't like it. She sat opposite him, mimicking his pose, letting out a long sigh. "What name would I have? Mother has already used the ones that I know…" It the light, Maria was beautiful. Her black hair looked almost a dark blue, and her eyes were shining. To see Maria angry and frustrated strangely accented all that Yeshua loved about her.

He leaned forward, placing his forehead on her shoulder. "Kos-Mos…" Maria placed a hand on his shoulder, pushing him away from her. "What?" He smiled, replying "Kos-Mos. It is a name that means 'order" in Greek. The names could be Latin or Greek, could they not? I think that is a perfect name for you." She stilled looked puzzled. "Maria… as strange as this sounds, you are the order in my life. For all the trouble we seem to cause, I know where I stand when I am with you. You are the order that keeps me where I am… my pillar."

It was the most loving thing anyone had ever said to anyone. Or at least Maria thought so. She did not want to lose her name, but after hearing Yeshua's explanation about the name "Kos-Mos" she thought she could bear the fact that her name was being stripped from her. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes, and fall down her cheeks. Yeshua looked concerned, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks with his feather-like touch. "Maria?"

She pressed her cheek into his hand, covering it with her own. "I think I can bear this now, Yeshua. That name… Kos-Mos is beautiful, and I think… I can wear it proudly. Will you let me choose a name for you too?" He nodded. She did not want to give him a regular name that all Roman's used… it seemed just to clichéd. He needed something special, that fit his personality and he needed to know really how he made her feel.

"Yeshua… what do you think of the name chaos?"

"What does it mean?" It was her turn to smile. "Think of it as being… confusion, disorder, problems… now wait." She placed a finger on his lips, stopping him from speaking. "You are nothing like this, I understand that. But that's the way you make me feel Yeshua… my heard races, I can't think straight, my cheeks grow red when you look at me… and I feel like a child. But I _like_ feeling this way… and I want to be able to…"

There was nothing more to say really. He understood, a smile growing bigger with every second. "I love you Maria." Her answering smile caught him off guard, for it held a mischievous tint to it. "I love you too… chaos."

"Sister, Yeshua!" It was a tiny shout, but both knew who it was. Jacob was Maria's youngest brother, the rebel of the family. Yeshua shook his head, crawling over to the side, soon joined by Maria. "What is it Jacob?" The young boy of five years was almost jumping up and down, so excited. "Sister! Father is coming home within the month! He is brining the young Roman who wants to marry you!" The boy scurried off, having delivered his message.

Maria looked at Yeshua, eyes wide. With all the confusion of the stripping of the names, they had forgotten about that little detail.

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This was pretty short, but again it was my own twist on the story. Please Review!


	3. Chapter 3

"What do you suggest Sister?"

"I suggest that you do not ask me to suggest anything, because I know that I will end up agreeing with you, with both of you, something too dangerous for us all."

"Please, Sister. You are older and wiser then we are. Tell us your thoughts." She wheeled around, giving the children a hard look. And that's what Maria and Yeshua were to her at the moment, children. Older and wiser? Two years separated Yeshua and Sarai, years that made no difference because they were all still learning the ways of the world. "You two got yourselves in this trouble, how will you get yourself out of it?" Unlike Yeshua, his sister was not one to back down, and she was highly argumentative. It went without saying that they had asked _her _how they were going to get out of the mess.

One of the reasons they had went to Sarai was because she was so strong. Women were supposed to be obedient, but not Sarai. She had watched as her parents were violently killed when she was ten; she had stood against her distant relatives, wanting her to marry a man three times her age, and she had protected her younger brother through all their years of life. She stood in front of, for all intensive purposes, the children she had raised; wondering what had gotten into them. "Well?"

"Sarai… you should know how I feel. I do not want to marry a man I do not know, a man that… I could not love."

"I understand your feels, Maria, but explain this to me: the Roman is only a year older then you, your father approves of him, and he can offer you a life that no other can. You could learn to love, could you not?"

"Sister, you must not talk like the old village women. The reason is simple; Maria does not love him…" Yeshua lost his voice under his sister's glare. "Yeshua… why do you answer for Maria? And do not compare me to the old women. Is there something that I am not being told?" Both children squirmed. That alone spoke volumes to Sarai, making her even more suspicious. They had come asking for help about how to avoid a marriage. When asked who for, they said Maria. It was already a story in the village about the Roman, and Sarai became suspicious. This made her even more so now.

"I would never answer something Maria did not want me to. I am looking out for my best friend, Sister." Sarai knew it was more then that. There had to be more to it. A small tap at the door announced an arrival. "You may come in." In walked the sorriest excuse for a solider anyone would ever see. Michael was a handsome man with brown hair and eyes, wearing the standard roman uniform. He was a guard of Phillaicus's, which meant he was also exiled for some deed. "Welcome to my home, Michael. What does Phillaicus want this time?" Sarai was friendly to Michael, opposed to the fact that Sarai would never have given the other guards a second glance. "Good evening Sarai, Kos-Mos, chaos. Sarai, you are one of the only people in the village not to give Phillaicus your new name... And he sent me to get it from you. My apologies for his rudeness."

There was a reason Michael made such a bad solider. He was too polite, and he disliked violence. Sarai once asked him why he was not a scribe. He did not answer. "Is that all?! Such a trivial errand, and I am sorry I have caused you trouble, Michael. Tell Phillaicus this: if he wants to know it, then he can come and get it himself." Michael bowed his head, stifling a laugh. Maria and Yeshua also turned away, overcome with laughter. You do not tell a Roman what to do. "I will tell him, Lady Sarai. Please, excuse me-"

"Let me ask you something Michael, before you leave." Michael stopped his turning movements, staring at Sarai, who was looking at her children. "What do you know of this Generals son?"

"Please do not trouble Michael, Sister. He no doubt has…" Yeshua stopped. The low wood table moved slightly, almost silently for neither Michael nor Sarai noticed. Maria had shoved the table into Yeshua, making him silent. She wanted to know. "I know only a little, Lady Sarai. But I can tell you this: he is a man who has always gotten what he has wanted. He takes what he wants with little regard for anything else. He is like a sunset; for he can easily leave you in darkness, forgetting you, but he is always there, beautiful, reminding you that you need him day after day. He fights like a possessed demon. He does not like his things tampered with." Michael looked at Maria as he said this. Her blue eyes met his brown ones, expression unreadable.

"Michael… you were a poet were you not? That part about the sunset was beautiful, even if you were speaking of a cobra." Michael nodded, for there was nothing more to say. A man who can write beautiful poetry is wanted in the Empire, but not if he writes outside of the Empire's wishes. "I will take my leave now, Lady Sarai. Good day, Kos-Mos, chaos." And he left, more silently the he came.

"Loves like that… from one who is possessive, cannot compare to the love of my brother, can it, Kos-Mos?" It was as if it was the final judgment. Sarai was opposite of Yeshua, long raven wing black hair gathered in a braid, dark eyes unfocused at the moment, crimson dress dirty and old from use, but not in just looks. She did not understand was it was like to love someone more then life itself. She did not know the fear that was involved with loving someone.

"My suggestion is this: Go to Maria's mother and open your heart to her. You are children who know love, which makes you wiser then most. Follow your hearts." Sarai spread her arms wide, wanting to hug the children one last time. Maria was on her feet in an instant, running towards the first person who had accepted their situation. "I will keep him in line Sarai, I promise." Maria buried her face in Sarai's neck, crushing her. Yeshua came more slowly, taking in the sight of the two women in his life, excepting each other more then they ever had.

"Mother and Father wanted to do this for you Yeshua, but it seems that it will be my duty now." Very gently Sarai moved out of Maria's embrace, taking both her hand and Yeshua's. She linked them together; her's on top of his. Sarai reached around her side, to her braid, taking the ribbon from its place as barrier, pulling it free. It was Sarai's prized possession, and she was passing it onto her children. She first laced in around their wrists, tying it in a very simple knot. "You may not receive Maria's family's blessings, but you have mine." They were children no longer.


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